Rekindling Desire for Your Spouse

Remember the days when you couldn’t stand to be away from each other?  Your desire and passion to be together was overwhelming…even painful at times.

Rekindling Desire for Your Spouse

I remember those days.  Debbie and I had a long distance relationship when we were in college, so we had to write letters to each other.  (Yes, actual pen to paper, snail mail letters!)  We wrote at least 4-5 letters every week to each other for 4 years.  We were committed to fighting the forces (either real or imagined) that were pulling us apart.

The highlight of my week was calling her on one of the campus pay phones.  I can remember pumping quarters into the phone just to talk to her for 15 minutes.  Of course, this was before the days of computers and smart phones.

Here’s what I remember about those years…

Two Thoughts About Real Intimacy

I have an interesting question for you.  What’s at the heart of a satisfying, meaningful, and exciting sexual relationship with your spouse?

Two Thoughts About Real Intimacy

I wanted to share a couple of great quotes that will answer that question, and (I hope) stir your heart towards greater things.

As you may know, I’ve been somewhat consumed this year with Mike Mason’s book, The Mystery of Marriage.  He has a way of digging deep into the heart and soul of marriage issues; in such a way that I feel transformed, not just informed.  His words about married sex do not disappoint.

Here’s the first one:

Opposition To A Good Marriage

A good marriage can be polarizing.  What I mean is, it elicits different reactions.  Think about it.  How do people respond when they witness a married couple that’s happy and in sync with one another?

Oppostion To A Good Marriage

How do people react to a couple that’s a team, laughs together, and is truly one?  You know what I mean, right?  You know that kind of intimate marriage when you see it.

Here’s what I’ve noticed…

Naked – The Benefit of Baring it All

Have you ever had the naked dream?  For some unknown reason, you’re in a public place with nothing on except your birthday suit and nobody will help by tossing you a piece of clothing.  Not even a scarf.  Yikes!

Naked - The Benefit of Baring It All

Studies show that 4 out of 5 adults will have the naked dream at least once in their life, and according to, the causes of this dream are numerous:

The Heart’s Demand for Intimacy

I was intrigued by the results of the recent survey I conducted.  My goal was to discover (among my readership) which marriage issues were the most interesting.

Heart's Demand Intimacy

I think the results also gave me an idea of where the “points of pain” are for most couples.  In other words, where they really see the need for growth.

The top three were…

A Few Tips to Heat Up Your Holidays

Despite the busy-ness of the holidays, it can still be a very romantic and meaningful time of year for the two of you.  Let me explain.

A Few Tips To Heat Up You Holidays

Christmas already has romantic elements built in – the lights, music, gifts, etc.  It’s all around us!  And the story (the real Christmas story of Christ coming to earth) is after all, a love story.

For God so loved the world that He gave (John 3:16)

I have loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3)

It’s been said that the essence of romance is pursuit – the unselfish efforts of a person attempting to win, and keep, the heart of another.  And there’s no greater story of pursuit than…

The Time-Tested Marriage

3 Compelling Reasons to Stay Together

A massive sequoia tree entitled, The Faithful Couple, at Yosemite National Park serves as a powerful illustration for married couples.

The Time Tested Marriage

It’s about 40 feet in diameter and one hundred feet high. What makes it so special is that it’s actually two trees in one. Approximately 1500 years ago it

20 Lessons Learned After 20 Years of Marriage (Part 4)

Twenty years is a long time to be married, and it’s certainly enough time to learn a few things.  Here’s 20 Lessons Learned After 20 Years of Marriage (Part 4).

20Lessons Part4

15.  Marriage is the greatest test of my leadership.  I enjoy reading about leadership.  I enjoy watching and learning from good leaders.  I often reflect on my own leadership experiences in my ministry career as a pastor – both past and present.  I enjoy the challenge of leading people well, and I even have a master’s degree in Ministerial Leadership for crying out loud.  All of that to say…

The determining factor in whether wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship. For men, the determining factor is, by 70 percent, the quality of the couple’s friendship. So men and women come from the same planet after all.  -Dr. John Gottman, 7 Principles to Making Marriage Work

The God Who Raises Dead Marriages

Is God able to raise a dead, hopeless marriage?  Let me pose the question a different way.  Is there a point of no return, so-to-speak, where the hurt is too deep and the relationship too toxic for a turn-a-round to occur?


I’ve often heard people in struggling marriages (and friends and family who love them) say, I’m praying that God intervenes and does a miracle.  And while I whole-heartedly believe in the miracle-working power of God, the way that God works to turn a marriage around is somewhat unique in nature – as compared to, for example, a physical healing or financial provision.

Let me explain.