I’m writing a book about the power and importance of embracing and sharing your unique love story; and recently I’ve been researching the basic elements of love stories (in movies, literature, etc.) that have been produced over the years.
Very few couples take pride in their love story; and those who do take pride it, fewer still actually share it. Think about it. Think of the married couples you know that are happy. Do you know much about their love story? Probably not. And how many people know the details of how you and your spouse met, fell in love, married, etc.?
You might not know this, but there are common elements to most love stories we see in movies or read about in books. Hollywood has been using these elements for decades. Why? Because they work. And in my opinion…they actually are true to life; usually in less glamorous fashion, but true to life none-the-less. Not every couple experiences every element, but every couple experiences some of them – and that’s worth talking about.
My mission for my next several posts is to not only describe these elements, but to show that some of them are present in your story…in every story; and give you proof that your love story is worth sharing.
I’ve dug up six of them so far, but I’ll share them over the next several posts. Here’s the first one:
The meet cute
It’s the moment the couple meets for the first time – and it’s usually in a way that’s considered funny, surprising, awkward or embarrassing.
Debbie and I were fans of the show, Frasier, for several reasons – not the least of which was the love story between Niles (Frasier’s brother) and Daphne, who was hired to be Martin’s (Frasier’s father) physical therapist. If you’ve ever seen the very first episode of the show (the pilot), then you might remember the scene when Niles meets Daphne for the first time. It’s a classic example of a meet cute.
Frasier: Daphne, this is my brother Niles
Niles: You’re Daphne?
Daphne: Why, yes I am!
Niles: Well, I… [shakes her hand]
Niles: When Frasier told me he’d hired an Englishwoman, I pictured someone a little more… not quite so… you’re Daphne?
Sometimes only one of them feels the initial spark (like the movie, Silver Linings Playbook), and it takes a while for the other person to come around – often because there’s another love interest in the picture that is clearly all wrong for them.
Keep in mind that the meet cute can be preceded by one person noticing the other first. In Titanic, Jack saw Rose for the first time from a distance…while he was talking with his friends. The scene leads us to believe that Rose made eye contact with him, but its not definitive. His new friend, Tommy Ryan, asks him if he makes any money from his drawings. His question falls on deaf ears as Jack is captivated by seeing Rose for the first time.
Tommy Ryan: Ah forget it, boyo. You’re as like to have angels fly out of you’re arse as get next to the likes of her.
For me and Debbie, I noticed her before she even knew I was alive. She was a cheerleader, and I was captivated by her smile and bubbly spirit at a pep rally in high school. I also noticed the way she walked. We talked on the phone before we ever met in person. The first time I met here face-to-face was in front of her locker. We were both nervous, and it was a little awkward…but I’ll never forget it.
What about you? Do you remember the details of how you met your spouse? If so, when was the last time you talked about it?
I have a hunch that as you dig up the gold nuggets of your story together, you’ll find that it resembles the popular love stories more than you thought.
But that’s not my main point today.
Ultimately, the benefit of revisiting the details of your love story is realizing that God brought you together. He started your story, and He arranged the details surrounding it. In Matthew 19, as Jesus was teaching about marriage, He said this…
What God has brought together…
And in Song of Songs 8, King Solomon makes the point that its God who creates a spark (the fire of love) between a man and woman when he wrote…
Love burns like a hot fire…
In fact, my hope is that by the end of these few blogs posts, you’ll take greater pride in your unique story – even to the point of wanting to share it with others. My hope is that you’ll never again wish you were in someone else’s story.
My hope is that the next time you watch or read a great love story, you’ll feel nothing but gratitude for the grace of God in your life, and the messy, imperfect way He brought you and your spouse together. Remember the words of Jesus? “What God has brought together…” And you’ll be excited about the way God has written, and is writing, your story.
Friends, I enjoy a good love story, but there is no story (fiction or non fiction) I love more than my own. And I pray the same for you.