I have a confession to make. Are you ready for it? Here it is: I love a good love story. I’m a red-blooded American male who loves sports, actions movies, power tools, Worlds Strongest Man competitions (watching them, that is), and great looking trucks.
I don’t like fru-fru coffee drinks, or French restaurants. I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day, heart-shaped beds, or heart-shaped anything. But, I’ll say it again…
I love a good love story.
I realize that my macho friends might poke fun at me for this, but it’s true. Many people (even some women) might roll their eyes at this confession, but I’m just being honest when I say…I’m moved by a good love story.
A good love story, mind you.
I realize that not every love story Hollywood produces is worth its salt. Some are better than others, no doubt. But by and large, I think they touch on many yearnings of the human heart that are common to us all – yearnings that have been hard-wired into our hearts by our Creator. Consequently, I’m not a fan of heart-shaped stuff, but I am a fan of heart-related stuff.
Here’s my question for us today: what is it about a love story that stirs our hearts and awakens something in us? In my opinion, its the desire to experience it for ourselves. And in my opinion, men and women experience it differently. Here’s how:
For a man, it’s the yearning to be fearless
A man yearns to have the courage and strength to overcome the fear of rejection and pursue the woman he desires. The woman that seems so…unattainable.
Think of Noah in The Notebook. His pursuit of Allie was relentless. His first words to her were, “You wanna’ dance with me?” She, or course, said no. His next move was to climb up a moving ferris wheel to ask her out on a date, even when she was with another guy! She said no again, so he hung on a bar and threatened to let go until she said yes. He didn’t care. In his own words, When I see something I like, I gotta have it… I love it. I go crazy for it. Instead of admiring her beauty from a distance and never having the courage to make a move, he went for it. No fear. No hesitation. No vacillating. The result? He won her heart. And that’s what stirs a man’s heart. It’s the yearning to be fearless…to win her heart.
For a woman, it’s the yearning to be pursued
To be considered so beautiful, so alluring, that she’s worth fighting for. And her suitor will fight her parents, their present circumstances, and even her…in order to win her heart.
For example, Jacob worked for Rachel’s father, Laban, for seven years so he could marry Rachel, “but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” And Laban tricked Jacob into working an additional seven years. Now THAT’S fighting for the woman you love.
In Titanic, Rose was suffocating under her mother’s pressure to marry a man she didn’t love, in order to preserve the family name and secure their financial future. Remember her words?
Five hundred invitations have gone out. All of Philadelphia’s society will be there. And all the while I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up.
In other words, nobody is listening to her. Nobody truly knows her, or cares to know what she really wants. And Jack asks the perfect question that leaves her utterly exposed: Do you love him?
Remember the scene when he pulls her aside and says,
They’ve got you trapped, Rose! And you’re going to die if you don’t break free, but maybe not right away, ’cause you’re strong, but sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose… That fire’s gonna burn out.
What’s he doing? He’s fighting for her. He’s even fighting her, for her.
Well, what does any of this have to do with you and me? I’ll close with this…
Men, never stop pursuing your wife. Remember that marriage is a life-long pursuit of her heart. Think of ways you can initiate a few things. For example, a few minutes of prayer together, a surprise date night, a meaningful conversation, cleaning the house, etc. Remember the core question of her heart: does he still love me? Am I still worth pursuing?
Ladies, help your husband overcome his fears. When you see him making an effort, encourage him. Don’t criticize him. Make it easy for him, even if his efforts aren’t exactly what you expected or needed. Remember that he’s deathly afraid of letting you down…of failing. So don’t let him. Do everything you can to help him win.Men, never stop pursuing your wife. Remember that marriage is a life-long pursuit of her heart Click To Tweet Ladies, when you see your husband making an effort, encourage him. Don't criticize him. Click To Tweet